


The Holy Madonna Shall Not Need A Episiotomy

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: British Comedy, Christmas, Christmas Special, Comedy, Dysfunctional Family, Family, Family Issues, Letters, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24018781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Seungkwan has to begrudgingly write a birthday card for his maternal Grandfather who he dislikes; Vernon tells him not to worry, and, anyway, what the most recent bad things he done?Is making a hundred Catholics faint worth if the pain in the arse title?
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Holy Madonna Shall Not Need A Episiotomy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cittadevi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cittadevi/gifts).



> For Cittadevi, who I treasure very much. For you, my dear, I hope you enjoy this :)

"Shit a cocking brick." Vernon hopped around in agony, clutching his foot; he had been waking about bare foot, and had stubbed his toes on the table leg of the kitchen table. 

Seungkwan looked at Vernon sagely. "I can't actually believe that your Mum taught you and your sister to swear, right?" 

Vernon rolled his eyes. He looked down at the table, gingerly stepping his injured foot back to the floor. He sat down beside Seungkwan.

"What are you doing?" Vernon asked.

"You know the Grandfather I don't like?" Seungkwan commented. Vernon hummed. Seungkwan couldn't stand his Mothers Father. "It's his 75th birthday and I have to write him a card." 

"That sounds lovely." Vernon commented. Seungkwan slapped him with his left hand, not breaking writing in the card. Vernon burst out laughing at what Seungkwan was writing.

"Shut up." Seungkwan complained.

"Come on, he got his karma. He had a heart-attack last year, didn't he?" Vernon remarked, looking back down to the card. Seungkwan had called his Grandfather at least three different variations of "arsehole". 

"That man is like Dresden to men" Seungkwan said grimly.

"Er...yeah?" Vernon crossed his arms. He didn't get it.

"Restored shit." Seungkwan snapped the card closed and put it in the envelope. Vernon chuckled.

"How about you don't worry about him?" Vernon suggested. "Like...what's the most recent bad thing he has done?" 

"Last Christmas." Seungkwan replied automatically. "He's not a Catholic, but last year there was a contest to write the best carol; they had this idea to write a nee carol, right? Well, on the sky, he put the choir, the choir-master and the verger under the impression that his carol had won. This is what he wrote -" Seungkwan pulled a spare piece of paper towards him. "- but, just for reference, he says that the one thing he noticed in the bible - they never wrote about Jesus Christ's actual birth." 

Vernon read what Seungkwan wrote down. He nearly pissed himself.

"Praise the Lord

Jesus Christ is coming down the birth canal

Watch out for all the blood and muck

While the Holy Madonna is fully dilated

Whee!

Here he comes!

Praise the Lord

Praise the Lord

*choir vocalizations*

It seems to be

It seems to be

That the Holy Mother 

*choir vocalizations* 

Shall not need a episiotomy."

Seungkwan gave a very small smile as Vernon held onto the table as to not fall off the chair. Vernon told him that the "carol" had a nice ring to it. "You can imagine what the priest said afterwards after he brought all his flock back to consciousness." Seungkwan mused. 


End file.
